Sorry for the lack of posts recently. It’s been for a variety of reasons but mostly because H has changed a lot in a short time and we have working hard to catch up with him.
At home we have a lot more shouting, roaring, throwing and intense attachment to me. His sleep and ability to wait and manage the everyday has rapidly decreased.
Not all the change is bad, but it means it’s necessary to revise our strategies, rewards and routine. Keeping up with H can feel exhausting and all consuming as we try to second guess his next move.
A Guessing Game
When your child gets diagnosed with ASD you are told and made aware that avoiding anxiety for H is your top priority. For everyone who is worried or anxious about something it can mean a change in your behaviour, eating and sleeping habits or make you louder or more withdrawn. With H all these things are amplified even more and he cannot tell us verbally his worries or how we can help him. It’s a big guessing game using his non-verbal clues to help us.
When we go through a stage like this we always look to whether there is something influencing Hs behaviour in a bad way that we can take away. This time we have removed Alphablocks (!) and Zog.
He was living in an Alphablocks world, pushing and shouting like the letters do and imitating the roaring like some of the characters and Zog. We realise that these are only temporary fixes and stages and we have seen a positive difference since removing them. Being a detective is part of an SEN parents job skill set.
As a dear friend quoted back to me ‘it’s not without hope’. H can read simple sentences now, get his coat on independently (not the zip!) and has started a weekly swimming lesson which he loves.
The biggest reason it’s not without hope is that this life however all consuming is not it. For now there is tea, chocolate, supporting family and friends and teachers. The SEN parenting journey is not an easy one but there was never any promises it would be.