So I haven’t blogged during lockdown. Lack of time, personal space and energy are contributing factors to this. Also it feels like all children & adults regardless of SEN have had their difficulties and struggles so it didn’t feel right to single ours out!
When chatting with a good friend I realised that I was struggling so much more with this post lockdown period than the actual lockdown itself.
When we were confined to the house it was easier to explain to H what was going to happen, plan our days and prepare him.
Don’t get me wrong homeschooling H has been ‘interesting’ as he only sits for 5/10mins at a time and normally has full time 1:1 at school and I often was doing learning on a 1:3 ratio! He cannot really do anything independently which as you can imagine has had its challenges.
This new phase where it’s been much less clear cut has been harder though. It’s like some normality has returned but it’s still so far away from normal as we knew it. We are having to try and prepare H for all the changes at each familiar place we return to. It’s exhausting!
Queuing and waiting are not his favourite pastimes (!) and he really struggles in this area.
H is also a sensory seeker; he loves exploring the world with his hands and mouth. Licking things and touching everything is not very Covid secure!
As well as the struggles that H faces in this ‘new normal’ I have realised some of the things that I am finding harder too.
Lockdown was a great leveller. No one was socialising, going out or doing normal things. It meant as a SEN mum I couldn’t see or hear what other people’s children were doing that H could never manage.
No one was in church which is an area H really struggles with and I felt normal for not going to things as nobody could.
There was no feeling of missing out because of H’s needs as everyone was missing out and shared similar emotions to me.
As lockdown eases and life returns to something closer to normality there are three things that I don’t want to forget in the future that I have learnt in this time.
- To never take for granted time with family and friends. To be thankful for their support as doing it alone is so much tougher than doing it in community.
- That we are stronger than we think we are and we can survive more than we thought we could. I would have never expected to manage not leaving the house for a day with H let alone weeks!
- Spending quality time as a family is important, hard and so rewarding. Time really does fly!
It’s not without hope even as the leveller is taken away. This new ‘grey phase’ has many joys to bring of its own as families are reunited, waiting couples can be married and holidays can return, to name a few.
But the ‘grey’ is still not without hope as there is a God who sustains, cares for and guides me through each phase. Nothing is a surprise to him!
He’s provided great family and friends to support us along the way. Maybe some of the feelings I regularly have will feel more common place as we all experienced lockdown with its disappointments and challenges.
For now let’s try and enjoy the new phase and not forget the lockdown lessons!
