Finding our balance

H was up at 4am this morning which is not ideal or uncommon. There is lots of evidence to conclude that people with autism need less sleep but often sleep is harder when you are anxious or excited. 

We find it really difficult to get the right balance of preparing H for things and therefore him knowing about upcoming events vs him becoming anxious about them. It really is one of the hardest parts of his ASD for us to judge. We never feel we get the balance right. 

If we didn’t tell him about our upcoming “mini break” he won’t be prepared for it and will inevitably struggle more when we get there as he’s not processed the change. 

On the flip side as soon as we have told him he asks over 100 times a day when we are leaving, sleeps less and his behaviour demonstrates a mixture of extreme excitement and anxiety. 

Do you see what I mean?!

Ironically sometimes the looking forward to is more exciting the actual event for H and indeed all of us at times. If we don’t tell him we are depriving him of that joy. So many things to consider!

Future Fears

Thinking more about it I also find this balance hard in my own life. In contrast the build up can often be worse than the actual event for me. 

Worrying about the future is part of life isn’t it? When you are a SEN parent and you are facing a future where your child may never be independent. This worry is very intense, overwhelming and can feel all consuming. With the ultimate fear ‘who is going to look after them when we are gone?’

I haven’t found a magic answer, cure or relief from this anxiety but it’s honestly not without hope. 

God does know the future, there is a perfect plan and he will provide in maybe ways I cannot know now. 

I also recognise that for some this anxiety is even more intense as there children have more complex needs and there are even more uncertainties. 

We don’t have to know all the answers or even all the questions! Today carries enough worries of its own. We have a Heavenly Father who is present in the details, the everyday and the future. 

Let’s hope this minibreak is even better than the build up! Photos to follow of our adventures on Instagram.